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 Certificate of Upgrade to Complete AssholeCertificate of Upgrade to                               Complete Asshole                         Certificate of Upgrade                                to                         Complete Asshole                         is awarded to  ------------------------------------------------------------- In Recognition of Your Obnoxious Attitude, Ability to Piss People Off, Complete Asinine Juvenile Behavior and Total Dedication to Personal Gain Without Regard to the Many Hardships You Have Forced Upon Friends, Family, and Others During Your Lifetime, You Have Become a Legend In YOUR Own Mind.  To Recognize Your Upgrade From Half-Assed to Complete Asshole Gives All Concerned Great Satisfaction.  If Anyone, For Any Reason, Doubts Your Status,                       JUST BE YOURSELF!  Effective Date _________________  Signed _____________________ 
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