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 A new way to loose weightA fellow was reading the paper one day lamenting the fact that his  doctor has ordered him to lose 75 pounds.  Next thing he sees is an  advertisement for a guaranteed weight loss program.  Guaranteed like  heck, he thinks to himself. But lets see what they think they can do.  He calls them on the phone and subscribes to the 3 day, 10 LB weight  loss program.  The next day there comes a knock at his door, and when he answers,  there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic 19 year old babe  dressed in nothing but a pair of Nikes and a sign hanging around her  neck.  She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss  company.  The sign reads, If you can catch me, you can have me. Well,  without a second thought he takes off after her (like who wouldn't).  A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has  his way with her.  After they are through he kisses the girl one last  time and thinks to himself with a nod, I like the way this company  does business.  For the next two days, the same girl shows up and the same thing  happens each time.  On the fourth day, he weighs himself and, sure  enough, he has lost 10 pounds.  Deciding that he likes his somewhat  more slender physique, not to mention the method of treatment, he  calls the company back  and subscribes to their 5 day, 20 LB weight  loss program. He thinks that losing 20 pounds in only 5 days seems  like a lot, but he is intrigued by what their workout schedule might  be like this time.  As expected, the next day there comes a knock at his door. When he  answers it there stands a 22 year old knockout dressed in nothing but  a pair of Reeboks and a sign hanging around her neck. She is simply  stunning, the most beautiful woman he has ever seen.  She introduces  herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign  reads, If you can catch me, you can have me. He's out the door like a  shot. This gal is in excellent shape and it takes a while to catch  her.  But when he does, it is worth every cramp and wheeze.  She is  wonderful, the best he has ever had. He is really looking forward to  the next four days... For the next four days, the same girl shows up  and the same thing happens each time, much to his delight.  On the  sixth day, he weighs himself and, unbelievably, he has lost another 20  pounds.  I love this company, he thinks to himself, I never knew  losing weight could be so easy and so much fun.  Feeling much better about himself, he decides to go for broke and  subscribe to the companies 7 day, 50 pound weight loss program. Are  you sure, sir? asks the representative on the phone. This is our most  rigorous program. Absolutely, says he, I love your program. haven't  felt  this good in years!  The next day there comes a knock at his  door and he enthusiastically answers it. There stands before him a 200  pound perfect specimen of a man dressed in nothing but racing spikes  and a sign around his neck.  He introduces himself as a representative  of the weight loss company.  The sign reads, If I can catch you, I can have you.
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