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 A disabled sea captainAn old sea captain with one wooden leg, one hook replacing a missing    hand, and one    missing eye goes into a bar.    The sailor sitting next to him says, "You're really in bad shape. What    happened to your    leg?"    "I fell overboard," says the Captain, "and before my mates could pull    me aboard, a shark    bit it off."    "Terrible," says the sailor. "And what happened to your hand?"    "We attacked a man-o'-war," says the Captain, "and one of the    attackees chopped it off    with a saber."    "Awful," says the sailor. "And how did you lose your eye?"    "Seagull droppings," says the Captain.    "Amazing," says the sailor. "I didn't know seagull droppings could put    your eye out."    "Can't," says the Captain. "But it was my first day with the hook." 
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